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My Spiritual Odyssey

Travelling with Cancer
Spiritual Odyssey

Travelling for 3 months feels like a spiritual odyssey.   I have learnt so much about myself through this time. There are aspects of my soul that I certainly dont recognise, nor even imagine would be a part of me.


I’ve been called a gypsy before because of my wandering soul, having lived and worked in many states of Australia.  I have been known to just pack up and head off at a moment’s notice and do impulsive things, but my dreams of packing up the caravan and setting off on our adventure together, exploring this country with the dogs, going wherever the day took us was something I had longed to do for many years.


However, the reality was far from my expectations. The trip I had built up in my mind was far from what the trip was actually like. 


Don’t get me wrong, I am absolutely enjoying our time away, we got to spend time with Kate, Kev and the girls as they continued their lap around Australia.  Catching up with them was amazing, sharing a snippet of their adventure and making memories that we would all remember forever.    But I really do think I set myself up for disappointment in the fact that I had my own idea on how I wanted the trip to be, which sometimes didn’t match what Rod was wanting from the trip.  Along with this I was telling myself to just go with the flow, allow the journey to unfold as we travelled.  Try not to make too many plans, or book too far in advance.


The dogs are a nightmare to travel with.  As Bodhi has got older, he has become more fearful and aggressive.  Whenever the wind gets up, he is so anxious and jumps up and down on the bed all night, and we aren’t getting much sleep.  Along with barking at neighbouring dogs is driving us all nuts.  The weather has often forced us inside and life in a tin box with two dogs can get a bit cramped.  I began longing for the space of our home in WA.


I found myself slipping into “Inner Child” mode often, and in the words of Layla our grandaugher, “Nanna’s had a tantrum”, something that I don’t usually do.  We laugh about this now, but at the time, I thought to myself “Who am I and what in the heck just happened here”.


We knew where we had to be for Rods chemotherapy treatments and had to plan around those dates.  I found myself more comfortable when closer to hospitals and towns that had medical facilities, should we need them for Rod.  Something that up until his cancer diagnosis would never have bothered me before. 


What I didn’t realise was that my trauma response after the last year, and to make me feel safe was my need to have a plan and structure.  Going with the flow, left me exhausted and undecisive, as I was constantly searching different areas to head to.  Whereas once I had talked it through with Kate and had come to the realisation that if I pre-booked caravan parks and narrowed down the number of places to visit, I could relax and focus on the actual experience of the journey.


 This was something I had to reflect on deeply, I have often told my own clients, that some people in trauma response, respond better to structure and routine, even though people were telling them to relax and go with the flow.  So, when it came to me, why couldn’t I be more gentle and kinder to myself.  Why was my “Inner Child” screaming for attention, what was she trying to tell me? I was questioning myself about my own truth, was travelling what I really wanted to do, or was it just an image I had built up in my own head over the years. 


After much reflection, and guidance from the Universe, I recognise that I do like to travel, but in the future, it will look slightly different from this last trip.  Not all our trips will be with the caravan, the dogs certainly won’t be coming along each time.  I will be pre-planning and having some structure around where we go and how long we will be away for and that not all trips have to be far away from home to satisfy the wanderlust in me.  


As with any journey into our soul, this one is enlightening, and I understand myself so much better now.  I haven’t had a tantrum in a few weeks now, so I’m thinking my Inner Child is feeling validated, safe and settled.


Much love ~ Christine

Making memories with family
Travelling with Cancer


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